he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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