I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you traded sex for a burrito?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
