he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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