How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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