we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize