u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
