either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
