She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
