I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
