She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
