I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
