this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
