This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
MIDGETS
????
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
