just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
