3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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