I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
