so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
