Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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