just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize