oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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