On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
