Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Floor bacon is actually really good
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
