barbara walters just said penis...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
