Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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