Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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