just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
