We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
