sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
do nipples grow back?
Randomize