nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
