it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
