now i know why i became what i already was.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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