As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
