hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
