i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
