Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
