Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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