Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize