Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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