Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
