so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
