But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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