I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
