Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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