I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
