He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
