if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
