You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
