she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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