At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
