it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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