Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
