Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
