I understand Curling. That high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
