I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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