is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
