she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Someone came in the potted fern
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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