You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
