you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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