he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
