so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
