I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
