i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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