better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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