Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize