Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
